Gabriella, Talap, and a Happy Mama's Day

(2-year-old Gabriella has taken over my wash, with a lollipop to sweeten things up)

I have seen time and again the wonderful opportunities that children have here, to grow up in a place not only free of all the electronics western kids are so accustomed to, but a place rich in physical and mental stimulation. It’s a tropical playground afterall. One of my most entertaining young friends is Gabriella, the 2-year-old daughter of a fellow teacher at the school. She is quite the precocious little lady, and in addition to showing me that at the age of 2 she is quite capable of washing clothes, sweeping, cutting vegetables with a knife, and even looking for lice in my hair, I think she has decided that I am perhaps a little on the slow side. She yells at me when she catches me wearing shorts rather than a skirt. When she tries to order me around, and I don’t understand all of her mother-tongue language, she swears at me in her language and scowls. She walks around her mother’s classroom with a broom and threatens to hit kids who are off task. And when students answer incorrectly she yells at them. In short, she is the smallest little mama around. But of course she is still a precious little girl, one who notably likes to control her mother’s breasts, demanding to have them both popped out of her mom’s dress for her to breastfeed on(“titi” in the Bislama pigeon) while her mother teaches lessons before the 4^th grade class. Gabriella’s command of the world on this small island at her young age is not only a daily source of entertainment for me, but a reminder of what young kids are capable of when really immersed in their natural environment. And of course Gabriella is also blessed to have the most loving mama one could hope for, and a whole family that looks out for her well-being. While Gabriella stands out with her charm, it is true that most of the children here get the same early start on sweeping, washing, cutting, and manipulating the world around them in general. Just like Gabriella, most kids here have a whole slew of mamas keeping track of them, feeding them, loving them, and also “talking strong” to them as the expression here goes. And perhaps it is because most of these kids have all of these things going for them that it makes it all the more disheartening to hear of the kids who don’t. Like Talap.

(Talap in the first photo; Talap and her sister Jenny join the Easter Camp games)

Talap is a sweet 2nd grade student who started the year knowing only 2 letters of the alphabet. Because this year I take all the 2^nd grade students in small reading groups, I noticed right away how frequently she is absent. She walks over an hour each way to school, and any time I ask her why she was absent she will tell me “kakai ino gat,” which means she had no food at home. I was puzzled by this. Why did she have no food? This is Tanna. There is not a food shortage here. If there’s no food in her home, why doesn’t she get food from another mama? No one goes hungry here. So what was the deal with Talap? Over Easter weekend, when she followed a distant relative down to my village to join a 4-day church Easter Camp, I found out more of Talap’s story. It turns out that not only did her real mother leave her and her 3 siblings behind when she ran away to Port Vila (in fact trying to find her own escape), but there is no one in their community that looks after them, aside from their father. Their grandmother lives with them, but because she is so old, she is unable to take care of her grandkids. And just to be clear, fathers here do not raise children; that role is left entirely to the mamas and grandmothers. So Talap and her older sister Jenny (a 6^th grader) do all the cooking, washing, and naturally have to see themselves off to school in the morning. When they have no food, they really have no food, and Talap and Jenny have to go look for food in the garden. To earn a few dollars, sometimes Jenny even has to take food to sell at the market (on school days). The thought of being a kid on this island with no mama is actually heartbreaking. Especially when there seem to be so many mamas around. I just want some other mama to take these kids in, something that often happens, but for some reason never happened with Talap and her siblings. So in the meantime, I’m trying to do my small part to help Talap (letting go of my impulse to take her in myself). I’m trying to teach her the letters of the alphabet in her small reading group (she’s up to 15, a significant jump in 2 months considering all her absences). And I now give her a peanut butter sandwich for lunch every day, since the only food she eats at lunch is what the other kids happen to give her, and obviously no one at home is cooking for her. (Today she showed up at school with 6 mandarins for me! Even the little kids here have the concept of giving back so engrained in them.) But at the end of the day, I know that what Talap needs more than anything is a mama at home to take care of her. It’s what all kids need. Back home maybe a daddy will do, but here it definitely has to be a mama. And I wish Talap was as lucky as Gabriella. I wish she was as lucky as me. I wish she had a mama. And as mother’s day comes this weekend, I am reminded again of how important our mamas are. Especially here, in what feels like the kingdom of mamas. If you are a mama reading this, I hope you find your realm in the kingdom of mamahood this mother’s day weekend. And if you are my mother reading this, I want you to know that right now I feel like the luckiest person alive, to have had and still have you as my mama and I wish you the happiest of Mother’s Days J

****Update on Meriam… Meriam, who at the lure of a banana cake was finally convinced to go to school, started 1^st grade in February knowing just 6 letters of the alphabet and is now the ONLY 1^st grader to know all 26! To say she is enthusiastic about learning would be an understatement. The girl is amazing.

****I just heard today that there is a Baby Dodd on it's way today! So a special HAPPY MAMA'S DAY goes to my sister-in-law Kristy!!! Can't wait to see photos!